12 Ways to Avoid a Speeding Ticket: A Lesson in GIFs

A dozen foolproof tips from a former police officer.

pulled over by police

It can be tough out there on the road. That’s why we’re bringing you 12 ways to avoid a speeding ticket, directly from a former San Diego cop! We know, we know: You’re Welcome.

1. Don’t weave in and out of traffic—it only draws attention to you.

arrested development driving

2. Don’t tailgate—that draws attention to you, too.

tailgate dog skunk

3. If you’re pulled over, be polite.

deer bowing

4. But don’t admit you were speeding!


5. Apologize for not paying careful attention to your driving…

cat driving

6. …and promise you’ll do better immediately.

dakota pinky

7. Don’t bother with the tears.

kim feels bad

8. Or the seduction techniques.

channing tatum

9. Or the arguing.

I totally paused

10. Try to come up with a creative excuse. “If a driver came up with a creative excuse I had not heard before and it made me laugh (rare but possible), I let them go with a warning,” Dr. Steve Albrecht says.

jim carey the liar

11. Rest assured if a cop launches into a lecture: You may be off the hook. “Most cops follow this rule: give the a lecture or give them a ticket, not both.”


12. If you get the ticket anyway, take a deep breath and remember it’s not the end of the world. Let it go.

blake lively

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I'm a Texas-based Kansan who misses seasons but loves breakfast tacos. My journalism and short stories have been published all over, including at Popular Mechanics, USA Today magazines, SELF magazine and Black Warrior Review. I have an MFA in fiction, but I'll stick to the truth at Quoted.